WHY AM I STILL BLOGGING?
I'm not sure now why I'm continuing this blog. It was supposed to be about my thoughts when I was walking while trying to lose weight. I haven't walked now for months and the weight is coming back on slowly but surely, just as it has always done for the past 42 years. I can't figure out why I sometimes can get into that mind set where I am determined not to eat the wrong foods, and not to overeat, yet other times I simply can't find that mind set again. That's where I am right now. ------
I think I desperately want to get into the mind set of eating right, but I can only do it for a day or so, then I completely fall off the wagon. Course it doesn't help when Bob isn't committed with me and he isn't, but that shouldn't matter. I should have enough will power on
my own to stick with it regardless of what he's doing. But I haven't been in the right mind set now since last November. I guess I could blame the cold weather, but it's just an excuse. I bought a bunch of exercise tapes so I could exercise even when it was too cold or rainy to walk and I've used them a little, but I get bored quickly and have no sense of rhythm, so the dance tapes (which almost all of them are) are difficult for me and not fun at all! And the straight exercise ones are just plain boring after a few times through.
my own to stick with it regardless of what he's doing. But I haven't been in the right mind set now since last November. I guess I could blame the cold weather, but it's just an excuse. I bought a bunch of exercise tapes so I could exercise even when it was too cold or rainy to walk and I've used them a little, but I get bored quickly and have no sense of rhythm, so the dance tapes (which almost all of them are) are difficult for me and not fun at all! And the straight exercise ones are just plain boring after a few times through. ------
I have my annual check-up with the doctor next week (something I always hate and tried to 
get out of, but he won't renew my blood pressure medication if I don't go in every year), and I didn't want to be heavy. I told him last year that I was going to lose weight and the funny thing is, I did. I lost 19 lbs, but not when he would notice. I've gained a good chunk of that back, so even if I tell him I lost it, it won't mean anything if he doesn't see it himself on the scale this week.
get out of, but he won't renew my blood pressure medication if I don't go in every year), and I didn't want to be heavy. I told him last year that I was going to lose weight and the funny thing is, I did. I lost 19 lbs, but not when he would notice. I've gained a good chunk of that back, so even if I tell him I lost it, it won't mean anything if he doesn't see it himself on the scale this week. ------
I really don't know why I care so much. I'm 62-years-old and shouldn't care anymore about how I look, but the weird thing is - I still do. I feel uncomfortable in groups when I feel fat and unattractive. In fact, I tend to stay away from people. It's really ridiculous because no one else cares what I look like, but for some reason, I've never been able to get past it.
posted by Marti at
8:03 PM
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