WALKING, EATING and a MOVIE

I'm trying to lose 24 lbs. -

. . . weight I started gaining last year in Europe, then proceeded to gain about 2 lbs. a month since then, hence 24 lbs! So now I walk 2-3 miles every morning and am eating the South Beach way.

I hate to walk - I hate all exercise, in fact. I'm a couch-potato at heart - always have been. But in the interest of health, and to combate habitually stiff joints, I now walk.

Because walking is so boring, though, I pass the time, step after laboring step, by pondering little issues in my life. I guess this blog will document those thoughts and get them off my chest.

This morning I thought: People like me with thick ankles should never gain weight. This has bugged me for a long time. The weight doesn't accumulate just around your mid-section like normal people, it accumulates everywhere and you end up with telephone poles for legs and blocks for feet.

People with skinny ankles never gain weight in their ankles or legs. They gain it in their middles and continue walking around on little bird-legs. That's more acceptable to me. For some reason, that look doesn't offend me like the my body-type: short and dumpy. A short, dumpy person has problems looking attractive in the first place. But if you put on a few pounds, that's it, you just look shorter and dumpier.

Of course, keeping weight off is a real challenge because I love to eat. But I don't eat fish, lettuce, spinach, tofu, or bean sprouts. Oh no! Instead I love to eat bread, whipped cream, cake, pasta, pie potatoes, pizza, hamburgers, fast food and candy.

When I was a little girl I couldn't wait to grow up and be on my own so I could do what I wanted and eat what I wanted. Then I grew up and found out that I couldn't eat anything I wanted because I had these l-e-g-s!

I inherited thick ankles from my mother. Where she got them, I have no idea. My grandmother had beautiful legs and so did my aunt. But somewhere back in the old gene bank in Denmark or Switzerland was someone with thick ankles and legs. And in a society that worships long, thin legs, this is a real bummer!

I also had the misconception that when I got old, I would be happier because I could look anyway I wanted, could eat anything I wanted, and do anything I wanted. Wrong-o! Now that I'm the ripe old age of 61 1/2, I'm finding that things haven't changed a bit. Now if I overeat or gain weight, I'm jeopardizing my health, quality of life and longevity.

So this morning as I trudged up and down the hills around here, huffing and puffing, with the sun beating down on my head, and the air thick with humidity, I contemplated the situation. There is no choice - I must eat small portions of healthy food, but food I don't particularly care for, and I must exercise. By the way, the photo on the left is what I looked like last year at this time and what I'm striving to look like this year!

And yes, I've done this all before, and once my weight goes down, I kid myself into thinking that I'm happier, and I guess I am at some level, but at the heart of it is the fact that I'm not eating what I want to eat, nor in the quantities I want. If I were truly happy skinnier, I wouldn't eat and gain the weight back, would I?

So it's not so much about walking, I guess, as it is about eating. It's funny because I want to reward myself for losing weight by, well you guessed it, eating something I really like! I know. . . stay busy and quit thinking about food - easier said than done, I assure you.

And here's the real rub: My husband is 6 ft. tall. He gained the same 24 lbs. that I did. I'm 5 ft. tall. You can hardly tell where his 24 lbs. went - he says his clothes are tight, but I can't tell much. I, on the other hand, am waddling around like a mushroom and none of my clothes fit! It's not fair, is it?

Well, after the first week, I've lost 6 lbs. which is about par-for-the-course. Then it will be 2 lbs a week (if I'm lucky) for as long as I don't eat any of my favorite things!



Oh, and while walking this morning, I also was thinking about the bad movie we rented last night. I love Colin Ferrell, which is weird in itself because I usually go for the blondes like Brad Pitt, whom I adore. But yeah, Colin Ferrell. Anyway, the movie was The New World. Hadn't heard anything about it that we could remember last year (and it's no wonder).

We started watching, and what the hey, there was hardly any dialogue. This movie went on for 2 1/2 snoozing hours. It never got any better. What little dialogue there was, was indistinguishable. We couldn't understand anything anyone said with a British accent, an Irish accent or in Indian lingo. There was no chemistry between any of the characters, and Pocahontas pretty much just ran around in tall grass with her arms flailing toward the heavens.

B-O-R-I-N-G and long! I read some reviews at rottentomatoes.com and was amazed that some people loved this movie. And of course, those who loved it, accused those who hated it of not being sophisticated and lacking in discriminating tastes and the fine arts. Baloney - I know a bad movie when I see one - and this was definitely it. The sad thing was that the concept was good, the scenery was great and it had all the makings of a good story. But this director couldn't decide whether to make a travel film, a love story or a docu-drama - and in his confusion succeeded in creating none of them.

Bob keeps a log of all the movies we see. We gave this one an "F" joining the likes of Pink Panther with Steve Martin, The Royal Tannenbaums, The Muse, Mother, Starsky & Hutch, Fight Club (I know, no one will agree with me on this one), Four Feathers, The Mummy Returns and possibly The English Patient and Gosford Park.

Well, since I'm now good and hot after my 2-mile walk, we're off to watch the Memorial Day parade downtown. This will be our first small town patriotic parade since we left Cedarburg in 1979. We're looking forward to it. It'll be hot - 92 degrees.